Tag Archives: PC

The Tale of Garn Chapter 13

Warning: potential side quest spoilers ahead!

From Garn’s recollections:

Leaving Chorrol

Feeling it time to make my leave of the city of Chorrol I began to travel to northeast towards the city of Bruma.

As I was exploring some ancient ruins I discovered a chest. Most of the chests left around ruins, especially on the surface, belong to bandits and other newer inhabitants and rarely seem to contain anything of interest and this one seemed no different at first though the skeleton of a long dead warrior next to it did at least give me pause to take extra caution whilst opening it.

Phallic monuments lead the way.
“Phallic monuments lead the way.”

The chest contained only a key and a scroll. The scroll contained a small note – something about “the sword pointing the way.” I admit while I’m not one for riddles I was of course intrigued. Though I didn’t recall any sword bearing statues or anything else which might have guided me to the answer to this riddle I scoured the ruins regardless. Finally ready to give up I returned to the sight of the chest one last time and almost tripped on the silver long sword of the dead warrior. Of course! I took the warrior’s sword (as it was a fine enough blade to sell later) and began to carefully walk in the direction it had pointed.

Ok, maybe it isn't that difficult of a riddle.
“Ok, maybe it isn’t that difficult of a riddle.”

I reached a large boulder on a hillside with a magnificent view of the Imperial City in the river valley below. Nestled beside the boulder and some other, smaller rocks sit another chest. I carefully searched around the still locked chest for any sign of hidden traps such as pressure plates or trip wires. Nothing. I unlocked the chest and it only contained a fine dagger, some gold coin, and another riddle like note. Having enough of these puzzles and feeling ever more like I was walking headlong into a trap I continued on my journey.

I soon wandered back into relative civilization onto the Red Road in the Heartlands north of the Imperial City and into a small farming village called Aleswell. Dark was quickly approaching and walking Cyrodiil’s roads had often proved to be more excitement than I was wanting at the time so I stopped at the tiny Aleswell Inn. Unfortunately the innkeeper was nowhere in sight – in fact, no one was anywhere to be found in the entire village. I was both confused and cautious and my heart almost jumped through my ribcage when a disembodied voice broke the silence and greeted me. Soon, along with the sounds of creaking footsteps, more voices joined in.

And you thought some of my other screenshots were dark!
“And you thought some of my other screenshots were dark!”

It turned out that the entire population of Aleswell had been turned invisible and although they didn’t quite know how or why they unanimously seemed to suspect a wizard named Ancotar who had moved into some nearby ruins a relatively short time before this. They asked me to check into it for them, promising a reward if I were able to cure their strange condition. Although I suspected the people of Aleswell didn’t have much to offer an adventurer of my growing stature other than some food from their impressive fields I decided to take up their cause anyway.

I wandered down to the ruins of an old fort and as I quietly crept towards the entrance I was attack by not one by two invisible creatures. As I began to fight I quickly recognized them as common bears. I remember thinking it highly unusual that even the wildlife there was invisible. After all of the commotion of fighting them off I kept my sword drawn and entered the ruins with much less of a concern for stealth. Although I found what appeared to be a small camp belonging to the mage on the second level I found no sign of the man himself. As I ascended the steps to the third story of the ruined tower, however, an invisible figure ahead attempted to frighten me away. I was sure this was no spirit, however, and figured that the mage himself must be invisible too.

Not the nicest magic laboratory I've ever visited.
“Not the nicest magic laboratory I’ve ever visited.”

When I question him about the invisibility it appeared that Ancotar was unaware about the plight of the villages, intending only to make himself invisible so he’d be left alone to attend to his studies. He reluctantly gave me a scroll to reverse the effects and sent me on my way.

As I returned to the villages the people of Aleswell gathered around me in a strange, shimmering circle. As I finished reading from Ancotar’s scroll suddenly the shimmering around me gave way to reveal the true forms of the villagers. Although some of the people of Aleswell were indifferent to being cured of the inconvenience of being invisible, most were very happy to be rid of their curse. The inn keeper perhaps most of all, as he rewarded me with free lodging for life at the Aleswell Inn. Not quite as grand of a prize as many might quest for but something I could definitely make use of, starting with that very night.

Millions of Dead Combine

I finally finished my playthrough of Half-life 2 and its episodes last weekend. No, it didn’t take that long to play it – I just took long breaks between the game and the separate episodes. Half-life 2 has never been one of my favorite FPSes for various reasons but it’s damn good and it still holds up quite well, especially Episode 2 which I feel goes along way towards fixing the slow pacing of the original game. I can’t wait for Episode 3… or Half-life 3… or whatever. Anyway, enough blabbing… here’s some screenshots! As usual click them to view the full resolution versions.

POW! Right in the Kisser!
“POW! Right in the Kisser!”

Sometimes I just can't restrain myself...
“Sometimes I just can’t restrain myself…”

Poor bastard was standing in the wrong place when I downed the gunship!
“Poor bastard was standing in the wrong place when I downed the gunship!”

Just beautiful.
“Just beautiful.”

Ouch.
“Ouch.”

Just one more rocket!
“Just one more rocket!”

Boom!
“Boom!”

You'd almost think I'd remember this part wouldn't you?
“You’d almost think I’d remember this part wouldn’t you?”

Shooting saw blades never gets old.
“Shooting saw blades never gets old.”

About to be saved by Alex.
“About to be saved by Alex’s sniper rifle.”

We have liftoff!
“We have liftoff!”

Big Fake Robots

With Planetside on my mind and a lot of great memories welling up, I’m also reminded of one of my stupidest moments in online gaming.

As I mentioned in my last post I’m a big fan of Planetside and I’ve resubbed to the game many times, though because of the game’s many flaws I can never stay subscribed for very long before I get bored, annoyed, pulled away by something more enticing – at the very least I get my fill and cancel yet again. Shortly after renewing my account for the first time in many, many months I coincidentally received a new issue of Computer Gaming World in the mail that had a relatively small article about this huge new free expansion they were adding to the game that centered around the addition of what they called Battle Frame Robots, or simply “BFRs.” Mechs for you Planetside virgins.

Sometime later I was curious about what kind of idiocy was going around on the official message boards as a result of this (SOE’s Planetside forums were always a pretty hideous pit of bitching about the developers, flame wars over game balance and other perceived designed issues, and immature braggadocio) only to find absolutely zero mention of this new content being added whatsoever. Suspecting I might somehow be the first to know, but not 100% positive, I posted a purposely naïve sounding message asking what people thought of the new content. Call it trolling if you like, but there wasn’t really any ill intent.

The first several replies to my post consisted largely of people questioning my sanity, but many others were intrigued and wanted to know more. I then posted a link to a picture of one of the pages of the article. I quickly grew tired trying to explain what I was on about and just posted high resolution scans of the entire article and tried to limit my number of replies as the replies grew more and more heated.

The bringer of evil.
“The bringer of evil.”

The absolute torrent of flames and accusations hurled at me was truly something to behold. The board absolutely erupted into frenzy as thread after thread was created on the subject. I was amazed as I watched things I obviously knew to be 100% fact get torn apart and debated incessantly. Some of the amazingly intricate conspiracy theories people came up were quite fun to read though I’ve got to say. A large number of people replied to my posts or PMed me asking for more proof, wishing I’d die in a fire for being a filthy con man, congratulating me on such a brilliantly executed scam, and, most annoyingly of all, bluntly declaring that I was a liar and betting millions of combined dollars that everything I had posted was pure bunk. Insert some great revelation about “John Gabriel’s Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory” here. I admit that after awhile I started throwing out some purposely snarky and slightly misleading replies just to mess with people since I knew the actual, verified truth would eventually come out.

After another day or two of this madness the devs finally responded and confirmed that what I had posted was true. Believe it or not, I didn’t get a single check in the mail or even an apology in my inbox. *sigh* Still, it was pretty exciting being the most infamous person in an entire MMO for a couple of days and some deep down, maniacal part of me got quite a big kick out of watching all of the chaos I had caused.

Here are some fun supporting links:

…and all that is just a small sampling!

It’s funny. BFRs were hated by a large portion of the community the second I posted about them but they were even more hated once they finally made it into the game: as many of us had feared they were grossly imbalanced and the game suffered as a whole due to their addition. Eventually they were nerfed over and over again until they were just another vehicle on the battlefield, albeit still an extremely powerful one, and the process of acquiring them, never mind them actually being on the battlefield, altered the general flow of combat from then on. The controversy still lives on as you can see from the celebratory comments on this news item announcing that BFRs apparently won’t be reappearing in Planetside 2. I, for one, actually liked the idea. 🙁

Edit 2021: All of the SOE forum links are dead now, unfortunately. Thus is the nature of online forums, I guess. The PSU one is still alive somehow, though. I also added a clip of the original controversial image to the post! As an aside, re-reading this now, I hate to think I might have inadvertently fucked over a PR push for this new expansion that could have helped the game. Still, if it wasn’t me, it would have been someone else. I also have to wonder if the way that BFRs were… announced, as it were, actually made a difference in how they were received. I guess we’ll never know.