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The Tale of Garn Chapter 6

From the journals of Garn:

With my various bags now bulging with loot I decide to head back to the city to lighten my load a bit. I figure that it might be best to head for the bustling Market District of the Imperial City to barter my wares – more shops, more money, and less of a chance of anyone raising an eyebrow about the origin of any of my goods. I head to a seedy little tavern in Skingrad to drink an ale and plot my course. With my tattered road map rolled across the bar I plan out a path that will take me through some more territory I’ve yet to explore before eventually reaching the capital.

As I had hoped my journey takes me through many relaxing scenes dotted with the occasional desolate ruin. Beautiful fields of tall, blowing grass and wild flowers, herbs and other valuable spell reagents abound, and not even as much bother by the usual variety of wild predators that I seem to always be finding myself having to fight off. A peaceful day so far.

Ewwwwwwww...
“Ewwwwwwww…”

Eventually I come across a small but well stocked bandit camp nestled in the hills and decide to go on the offensive. I drop some of my bags by a boulder and creep stealthily into their camp, killing them one by one as quietly as possible, looting as I go. Don’t get me wrong, these bandits would have attacked me if they had spotted me first and I would have ended up fighting them regardless but my attitude towards killing has definitely changed since the day I left my cell. My blade just feels right in my hand and I’m starting to forget that I ever went a moment without feeling the tickling warmth of a flame spell dancing in my palm.

Time for some Sam Fisher style shit!
“Time for some Sam Fisher style shit!”

As I travel further I eventually encounter a small compound nestled in a valley in what seems like a very isolated location deep in the forest south of the Imperial City. It includes a large, perhaps once fairly nice house and a small but well constructed chapel. This place, whatever it once was, has evidently gone unused for many years as the buildings are strewn with debris and the dust in the air is almost chokingly thick when stirred. This does seem like it might be a nice place to clean up and call home though. Actually, I really could use a base of operations. Somewhere to stash all of the belongings that I have been lugging around this entire time. I don’t know how comfortable I am attempting to lay claim to this place though.

What kind of freaks live here? It reminds me of my old boarding school.
“What kind of freaks live here? It reminds me of my old boarding school.”

I eventually journey north and find The Gold Road that runs between Skingrad and the capital. As night falls I find myself increasingly stalked by the threatening sounds of cracking twigs and other signs of movement just off of the sides of the road. My attempts to inconspicuously observe the source of these noises takes more and more of my time until I’m watching the tree line practically the entire time. That’s when I spot it – a large troll attempting to shadow me. I waste no time and blast it with a shot of flame before drawing my sword and shield and dashing towards the beast. After a quick battle I’ve bested him. Feeling pretty good about myself I continue down the road.

Suddenly, as a traveler that I had passed heading the opposite directly down the road slips out of view I find myself in the midst of an ambush. Another troll and, of all things, another gargoyle! I concentrate on the troll and quickly dispatch it but the gargoyle is relentless in its attacks and my attempts to dodge them begins to fail with increasing frequency. The traveler I had passed, perhaps hearing the commotion, runs to aid me, and another coming down the road towards us draws his blade and joins the fray. I summon a scamp minion and charge towards it.

Everyone in this picture died at least once. It's official, I hate gargoyles.
“Everyone in this picture died at least once. It’s official, I hate gargoyles.”

The gargoyle is far too powerful. It quickly slays both of the travelers who attempted to aid me and has me on the run. Luckily I’m greeted by an imperial guardsman on patrol. With his assistance I’m finally able to whittle the creature down and dispatch it.

This was truly an epic fight. Not only did the Gargoyle kill both travelers and my scamp (multiple times) but as I ran up the road hoping to bump into a guard I was attacked by a spriggan and its bear minion as well. The guard actually took quite a while to dispatch the gargoyle. Wow… and on a major road too!

I finally reach the city and purchase a room for the night. The next morning I head into the busy streets of the Market District and peddle my wares to a variety of shopkeepers. By the time I’m done I’ve amassed several thousand gold. While I’m far from wealthy I’m certainly no longer in need of scraping together the meager profits from hunting mud crabs. In fact, with my gold pouch in hand I head over to the Office of Imperial Commerce where I hear they have a few vacant city houses for sale. After some careful consideration I decide to purchase a small house on the outskirts of the Waterfront District.

...and I live in a shack down by the river!
“…and I live in a shack down by the river!”

The neighborhood, while fairly rundown and low class for a part of the Imperial City, has its charms. For one, a great view of the lake. One could also swim the short distance across said lake to quickly reach the area south of the city. A admit the house itself has few amenities but I prefer the idea of owning my own place to that of crashing someone else’s house, seemingly deserted or not. The shack affords me a regular place to sleep while I’m in the area and, more importantly, a place to store my loot. I have plenty of loot as well, as I’ve yet to decide what to do with the majority of the magical items I’ve found throughout my travels so far. While many of these items are potentially worth quite a bit on the market they may be more valuable for me to keep around in the long run. With such an expensive collection locked away in my meager shack I make it a priority to spend several days repairing and securing my new house.

My house is entirely full of other people's stuff. Rent-A-Center eat your heart out!
“My house is entirely full of other people’s stuff. Rent-A-Center eat your heart out!”

Soon enough it is time to head back out onto the road. I journey south down to the quiet port city of Bravil. At least I thought Bravil was quiet – as I near the front gate I arrive on the scene of a massive fight between an unusually large gang of bandits and some traveling adventurers. I’m quick to join in but not quick enough to save the adventurers, unfortunately.

I theorize that this unusually large random battle was made up of a chance combination of 2 or 3 separate groups of bandits and 2 or 3 traveler NPCs.

Have at thee, foul practitioners of banditry!
“Have at thee, foul practitioners of banditry!”

I head into the city, visit a couple of shops, swing by the Great Chapel, and just generally take in the sights. While walking the streets I bump into a Breton scribe who, recognizing my garb to be that of an adventurer, offers me a job. He claims that he’s a budding cartographer and needs someone to scout out the locations of all of the ruins, caves, shrines, and other interesting landmarks around Cyrodiil. He offers me a flat fee per location of note discovered.

While the Breton’s fee isn’t remarkable it is steady work and I’m hoping that the long, hopefully interesting trip will present me with many opportunities to improve my skills and perhaps regain some of my memories. A trip of self discovery, perhaps? He offers me writing utensils and parchment which I place along with those that I already use for my own personal maps and, of course, this journal. I purchase a horse from Bay Roan Stables and, as quickly as I arrived, leave Bravil to begin my journey.

Where I keep my stuff.
“Where I keep my stuff.”

As I head north I take one, long last look at the White Gold Tower of the Imperial City and reflect upon the last wishes of the Emperor. I will embark upon his quest soon enough but first I must complete my own tasks in order to prepare for the possible consequences of facing his Blades. I briefly wonder what kind of debates and discussions are taking place in the great halls of Cyrodiil regarding the future of the throne. I wonder if Baurus, the only surviving Emperor’s Guard, reported what I had told him the emperor said about his heir. Did the powers of the empire wait impatiently for my arrival – did they even know of my existence?

Obvious to most Oblivion players but this cartographer’s quest doesn’t actually exist. I just made it up. Why? Just felt like it.

I think I’m too anal to not have all of those little icons all over the map like they should be. “Discovering” them is basically what I’ve been doing up to now anyway, I might as well go all out and indeed it should help bolster my levels before embarking on any real quests. As an added bonus it should make traveling to them when I actually feel like I’m capable of doing more dungeon crawls a breeze.

The Tale of Garn Chapter 5

From the journals of Garn:

After my very exciting first night in Skingrad I’m gently woken by the bright morning sunlight and the sound of singing birds chirping merrily outside of my window. I gear up, purchase some fresh fruit from the tavern keeper to eat throughout the morning, and after a quick visit to a few of the city’s shops, am on my way.

I had decided to continue traveling, without much of a goal, towards the northwest. As expected I come across a few odd caves, shrines, and ruins, but, as usual, decide to steer clear of exploring them due to the almost guaranteed chance of them inhabiting vile bandits or, worse yet, monsters or beasts. Instead I take the opportunity to forage and hunt and only have to worry about the occasional encounter with wandering creatures and bandits. After a particularly painful fight against a group of bandits who attempted to ambush me while hunting wolves I decide to head back to he city to rest.

Admiring Skingrad out of the reach of its psychotic guards.
“Admiring Skingrad out of the reach of its psychotic guards.”

After spending the afternoon and much of the evening recuperating I decide yet again to head out. This time I decide that it would probably be wiser to stick to the roads. As I start out on the western road from Skingrad I’m surprised to be almost immediately ambushed by highwaymen. These bandits are either very confident in their abilities or very stupid to be setting up camp so close to a known route of frequent imperial patrols. After a quick but violent battle I soon find my answer – stupidity. I loot their valuables and continue down the road leaving a trail of corpses strewn behind me.

Garn: Exterior decorator extraordinaire!
“Garn: Exterior decorator extraordinaire!”

I come to a small cave nestled right beside the road and let my spirit of adventure take hold. What harm could a quick poke around cause? As the cobbled together wooden door of the cave creaks open and my eyes adjust to the darkness of the narrow corridor I immediately know that this place is most likely still inhabited. I encounter a few imps but nothing that can’t be easily dispatched until, that is, I reach what appears to be the treasure room of the cave. It is guarded by a fearsome gargoyle and it takes every ounce of my ability, both as a magician and a swordsman, to defeat it. Upon reaching the treasure chest the beast was guarding I come across a grizzly sight…

Sometimes you really don't need to use a spell or ability to know when a chest is trapped.
“Sometimes you really don’t need to use a spell or ability to know when a chest is trapped.”

The gargoyle, luckily, kept getting stuck on the geometry of the door between the room he was in and the corridor I occupied, making this fight much easier than it probably should have been.

As I fill my bags with what is, ultimately, an unimpressive selection of items I note that the entire corridor opposite me has a very, very high ceiling, yet the corridor walls only reach a third or so of the way up – there’s a second level to this cavern! I search for nooks, hidden passages, and any other ways to access this second floor that I might have missed but come across nothing. Annoyed, I leave the cave and continue on the western road.

I had only walked a short while before I spotted the tell tale sign of grey smoke winding slowly against the near black sky. As I approach its origin it becomes clear that I have found a second entrance to the cave system that I had just been in. I swing the cave door open to be greeted by a giant bonfire burning fiercely in a rather large, and of course smoky, chamber. I encounter many more creatures, mostly varieties of imp, and as I venture deeper into the cavern the system of chambers becomes more and more elaborate.

Perhaps it should be noted that in OOO there are many varieties of imp, including crazed imps, mystical imps, and the rather tough gargoyles.

At this point I'm wishing this were a steampunk game so I could just hop on the fucking mine tram.
“At this point I’m wishing this were a steampunk game so I could just hop on the fucking mine tram.”

When I finally reach what I’m sure is the last treasure room of the structure I face yet another gargoyle. This time, however, it pulls an unusual trick. After trading blows with it for sometime the creature simply disappears – unlike most forms of invisibility magic that I have witnessed there is absolutely no trace of the fiend save for the pain of his fiery magic and its small but extremely sharp claws. I make a few wild swings towards what seems to be the origin of the sound of its leathery wings flapping but hit only air – I have no recourse but to run for my life. Indeed, I’m bleeding badly, struggling to keep pace when I unexpectedly trip on a rock and tumble head first into a small creek that runs through the middle of one of the larger chambers. The unpleasantly cold temperature of the water is actually rather sobering. As I snap to my senses I somehow make out a source of light shining through cloudy sediment filled water coming from upstream, under the rocky walls of the room. It is a risky maneuver but I decide to swim for it.

Note that as far as I know this gargoyle turning invisible was a glitch. It almost seemed like he was stuck in the ceiling, below the floor, or something odd like that. He followed me wherever I went, was able to damage me, and I couldn’t seem to lay a finger on him. Role playing aside, running away really was my only option!

Crap! If I drowned now I won't even be able to get a good screenshot of my corpse.
“Crap! If I drowned now I won’t even be able to get a good screenshot of my corpse.”

After a short swim I finally make it to another open room. I drag myself out of the frigid water and tend to my wounds. This was a close one. As I search my knapsack for a vial of healing potion I hear the distinct snarl of a wolf echoing through the chamber. I jump up to my feet and pull my sword from its scabbard but see nothing. I cautiously creep through the chamber until I see a smaller, connecting room that is chock full of unpleasant looking creatures.

The wolf immediately catches my scent and darts towards me, joined by two mystical imps. This is no normal wolf, however, but some sort of spectral wolf. My blows do little to harm it and soon I’m forced to retreat back into the water. The wolf, crazed by the taste of my blood, perhaps, dives in after me. Luckily the creature cannot maneuver in the water as well as I can and after a long, tedious battle I’m able to slay him. I emerge from the water to do battle with the imps. Finally, it is only myself and a lone gargoyle left. I summon a scamp to aid me and quickly pepper the gargoyle with a barrage of flame spells. Although it takes quite some time, with my magic all but depleted, I finally slay the creature.

I certainly have no plans to chronicle every fight Garn gets into but this one was amazing. The entire fight probably took me over 30 minutes of trial and error, reloading, etc. The wolf, the imps, and especially the gargoyle were all extremely challenging and obviously intended as an encounter for higher level characters than I was at the time.

I see your green... glow? and raise you incineration!
“I see your green glow… thing… and raise you incineration!”

There are three chests in this room and each one is filled with more impressive loot than the last – all manner of magic items and other, miscellaneous valuables. That hard fight is suddenly all worth it.

Note that I turned off OOO’s security skill requirements in order to loot these chests. I understand and appreciate the idea of the change but given my limited play schedule it seemed like it would be far too much trouble to have to worry about raising my security skill before ever being able to loot anything.

If you don’t already recognize my vague description of this place it is Fyrelight Cave. I actually set OOO’s leveling rate back to Oblivion’s default rate after going so long without leveling (again, taking my play schedule into mind) and managed to gain 3 levels entirely in Fyrelight!

The Final Battle

My recent post about guilds dying combined with all of the recent discussion about America’s Army 3 has inspired to write about my best memory of a clan dissolving and, actually, one of my all time favorite moments in online gaming. This happened way back in 2004 so hopefully the statute of limitations on anyone taking offense to any of this has long since expired. 😉

I’m going to spend a lot more time talking about my time with The Praetorian Guard (also known as [TPG] and simply referred to as TPG from here on out) in future blogs as we gamed together for a long, long time but for now I’d rather skip all that drama and start right into the story. I had decided to leave the America’s Army division of TPG which I had been more or less running myself for some time. Unfortunately I had leaked this information quite a bit earlier than I had planned and it resulted in all sorts of disarray within our ranks. This caused several problems but the most immediate was that we had a TeamWarfare League ladder match scheduled for later in the week and all of the chaos would make playing it quite a problem.

I’m sure anyone who was in the clan can attest that I took TWL very seriously at the time, probably too seriously as I’d often stress myself out worrying about who was showing up and when, if everyone was following the correct procedures, and that no one was breaking any rules. All of that nonsense was actually one of the reasons I decided to quit the AA division of TPG in fact. So, with people leaving the clan or at least the AA part of it, and not seeing the point in participating in another one of these high stress matches when we were most likely going to call it quits anyway, we were having problems securing the six people needed to participate in the match. Since I took this shit so seriously, despite “retiring” I pledged to lend my hand this one last time.

Lying in wait...
“Lying in wait…”

I wasn’t the best America’s Army player in the clan by a long shot – I had my moments of excellence, but for the most part I was pretty mediocre. Instead my main strengths, in addition to an occasional clever strategy, were in organizing the whole thing and keeping everything (and everyone) in line. This was no easy task, mind you, as we were a pretty casual group of guys for the most part and I always got the impression that most of the clan considered these matches more of a necessary evil than a fun part of playing the game. That and the usual scheduling problems and other drama that always comes up in these clan / guild situations. I’m sure with the popularity of World of Warcraft end game raiding nowadays plenty of you know exactly what I mean by that.

So, I was onboard but I was hardly an “army of one” myself. I honestly don’t remember exactly who else ended up playing that night and the records (mostly forum posts) are pretty sporadic from around that time because of the uproar that was going on within the clan. I know my trustful and highly skilled friend Blood, who was fairly hardcore and was one of the few guys who I think actually really liked playing matches, probably didn’t even have to be asked. Also the other two leaders of the AA division of TPG, PaleHorse and 20kill were onboard as well although 20 didn’t think he could make it. Amouro, who was good but I don’t think ever particularly cared for TWL matches, reluctantly showed up as well. We were having so much trouble getting the numbers we ended up drafting Joeypants, who was a mainstay in other parts of TPG but rarely played AA with us and indeed had never played a TWL match before, into the fold at the last minute. I know I’m forgetting our sixth man but no one can seem to recall exactly who it was – possibly Ace, TheBucket or Rhonis.

We were facing a clan called the 75th Rangers. They were a relatively large “realism” clan who split themselves into several smaller units with different names which all participated in TWL at the same time though often to different degrees. They were all the same group as far as we were concerned though – and we were concerned as we had some negative experiences with them in the past. The first time we had played a part of the [75thR] they called us out on an extremely minor rule violation that had absolutely nothing to do with the game itself (a TWL setup thing…) yet still insisted we forfeit the match. They had every right within the rules to do so but they could have also just as easily let us play regardless instead of taking the free win. The whole thing seemed rather unsportsmanlike and left us all feeling pretty snubbed.

We were really cautious every time we played the [75thR] after that and, I dare say, a bit vengeful. I seem to recall them giving us a pass on another, different issue we had the next time we fought them which was a pleasant surprise. Regardless we beat them the next two times we played them and, at least in my mind, victory was extra sweet because of our first, negative encounter. I should go ahead and disclaim that I harbor no ill will towards any of those guys. They gave us some tough fights and, honestly, I’d rather play against a team who went by the book to a flaw than a bunch of trash talking, hack using, idiot children. When they lost they’d (very briefly) congratulate us and immediately report the score, no excuses made which is about as best as you can hope for in a competition like that one.

So, anyway, we made it to the match with the right amount of guys and, somehow, several of our best guys. The map we were playing was SF Arctic which was a relatively new map. The scenario in Arctic is that a convoy had been bombed and immobilized on a road through a snowy mountain pass. Three APCs (Strykers or BTRs depending on what side you were on) who were traveling with the convoy took up defensive positions around it. These Strykers could be entered and gunned but not moved. They had limited fields of view and their turrets moved rather slowly but because of their powerful 50 caliber machine guns were extremely effective in the right situations. An interesting balance twist was you were somewhat of vulnerable to being flanked and quickly killed by enemy RPG fire if you were operating one so using them was a bit of a gamble. Blowing up the Strykers is also one of the other team’s objects so you will be getting shot at. The rest of the map around the road was divided between being relatively open with some excellent opportunities for sniping and lots of paths through craggy, overgrown areas, which provided plenty of chokepoints as well as flanking opportunities. Interesting map.

Drop the RPG and put your hands on your head!
“Drop the RPG and put your hands on your head!”

TPG actually had a pretty good track record on the map, having played it three times previously in TWL and winning every time. 20kill and/or Itch, had originally come up with a basic strategy for the map that we, as a group, were able to test out and refine a bit. The final defense strategy worked out into a situation in which our team was spread out all over the map, laying prone and peering through our scopes at specific choke points, and listening carefully to every boot we heard crushing through the snow. Our Strykers were only manned as the situation dictated since they were so risky to jump in being that they were always, manned or not, big fat targets for enemy RPGs. The assault strategy was a little more chaotic and reactionary but worked well enough most of the time. Overall our Arctic strategy just barely worked most of the time and could easily be ruined by a slow trigger finger or a few unlucky deaths.

All that said we rarely played Artic on public servers and hadn’t played it as a group since our last match in it nearly a month previously. Indeed we hadn’t had any sort of practice for this match at all and one of our guys, Joeypants, hadn’t even ever played the map. Confidence wasn’t exactly at an all time high.

Whatever. All notions of “confidence” went out the window once we started to actually play because just about everything that could have gone wrong did as we started out on the assault side. Amouro’s ping was fluctuating wildly, bouncing from 100ms to over 3000ms, so he couldn’t really be counted on. We also had an unprecedented number of, shall we say, “friendly fire” incidents – we almost never had a single team kill in our TWL matches, never mind multiple times in multiple rounds! Blood in particular, who I mentioned before was one of the better players in the clan, somehow managed to score several TKs during the match including blasting PaleHorse to smithereens with an AT4 just as he was about to secure one of the objectives. The rest of us either played just as badly or suffered from rotten luck all the same.

All that was fine though because unlike in past TWL matches we all pretty much instantly stopped giving too much of a shit. We cackled like hyenas at the accidental TKs and joked around about our deaths. We also, however, cheered like drunken frat boys as we encountered those rare but defining America’s Army clan match moments where almost the entire team is dead, sitting around in observation mode watching our one or two last guys fight against impossible odds, Rambo style, and somehow come out on top – us cheering them on and congratulating them on their incredible feats. We threw the usual pressure of a TWL match out the window and just played. When the smoke cleared, despite all of the horrible mistakes and other problems and our much less serious attitudes, we somehow weren’t actually doing all that badly. Hmph!

As half time rolls around and we swap sides to go on defense my AA client crashes and too late in the process to rejoin before the match resumes. Great, now we’re playing a man down in addition to playing with a guy who has never played the map before, a guy whose ping is wildly out of control, and a guy who is almost as lethal to us as he is to the enemy. That’s when a cunning plan is hatched: we somehow decided to man all 3 of the Strykers and man them the entire time (within reason) at that. Normally this would be considered, at least amongst the tacticians in our group, a horribly stupid idea. I already noted how dangerous they were to be in – two RPGs could take out a Stryker and the player in it and, if I correctly recall, this could often be done before the Stryker gunner could move his turret around and line up a return burst or get far enough away from the blast if he decided to haul ass away. Apparently other clans shared the same opinion though, as in all of our matches, scrimmages, and even the majority of our less silly public games on the map we’d never seen this done. That was the point though – we were counting on our opponents to be unprepared for such a strategy.

Shoot first, identify targets later. What? It's a fucking sandstorm!
“Shoot first, identify targets later. What? It’s a fucking sandstorm!”

This had actually worked fairly well and when the match was over we had tied the game, all while laughing, joking around, and taking the whole situation as lightly as possible without intentionally sabotaging ourselves. In this ladder when two teams tie they enter into a sudden death tie breaker round on a predetermined, different map. This map was SF Sandstorm.

Sandstorm was a pretty awesome little map that featured a small walled village with a second, smaller walled compound next two it. The map was fairly old and didn’t get much public play from any TPG members but most of us had put our fair share of time into it early on and we had eventually developed a pretty decent strategy for it. That said with two good teams fighting it out the map usually resulted in some extremely intense battles with very close rounds often hinging on a single player. We had played it 6 times in TWL and were 3-3 on it. Not impressive, but our last two attempts at it were relatively easy victories. At this point we all decided to get a little more serious and attempt to go out with a bang by pulling off what we would definitely consider to be an upset win. I rejoined the server and we swapped in 20kill, who ended up showing up after all, late to the party, to replace Joeypants.

It’s hard to say if we were just riding our highs, the other team was totally unprepared to play Sandstorm that night, we had unnerved them somehow, or what exactly happened but we proceeded to easily wipe the floor with [75thR] in this final round using our usual map strategy and team tactics. A very convincing, not to mention satisfying deciding round.

The victory kept us at 5th rung in our ladder which at the time had over 100 clans and put our record at a respectable 25-10. We couldn’t believe we won. TeamSpeak was full of celebration, laughing, cheering, giggling, you name it. Honestly, looking back over this post, it’s difficult to convey the utter ridiculousness of the situation and the huge amount of fun we all had in being a part of it. This was definitely one of my favorite memories of TPG and, as I said before, one of my favorite moments in online gaming period. I actually felt a little sorry for the [75thR] guys after this, I mean, who knows what the score might have been if we were at full strength and actually trying! 🙂

The much less exciting epilogue of the story is that [TPG]AA went on to fizzle out without the involvement of myself and several other key members. Blood, with some help from Rhonis, tried to take over the reigns and hold things together playing one last, losing TWL match against the number 3 team. It was obvious that the interest just wasn’t there amongst clan members and soon they were all but forced to officially dropped out of TWL. No discredit to Blood here as having enough committed players was a problem before I left and inadvertently decimated the ranks never mind afterwards. The few members who didn’t stick around for other games went their separate ways and that was all she wrote for that chapter in TPG’s history.

This post goes out to all of the [TPG]AA members and participants, particularly 20kill, PaleHorse, Blood, Amouro, and the infamous Ace. I know some of you will be reading it.

These screenshots aren’t from the match, in fact they’re from a much newer version of AA (2.8.4) and taken in offline mode using an array of funky console commands.